Broken
by Scarlet Rayne
Summary: Kaoru and Kenshin were betrothed ever since they were kids. They fell in love, but after an incident, Kaoru refused to see him again. But then again, Battousai doesn’t take no for an answer.. OOCness up ahead.
1. Default Chapter

**AN: **This idea of a BK pairing has been in my head for sometime now.. I'm not very good at expressing my points, but I hope you like it! **Notes: **This fiction would be based in the medieval times. Or.. what you would call.. the times where they had carriages and horses as a form of transportation. Ya, I think you get my idea.

**Summary**: Kaoru and Kenshin were betrothed ever since they were kids. They fell in love, but after an incident, Kaoru refused to see him again. But then again, Battousai doesn't take no for an answer..

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**Chapter 1**

_Ten years ago._

"I've always wanted to be a baker, 'cause of the pretty smell of freshly baked cakes and muffins. I love it! Then maybe when I own a shop, I can bake my own and eat them for myself."

A small chuckle could be heard.

"Say, what would you want to be when you grow up anyway?" asked the eight year old girl. Lying down on the grass, she turned her head to her companion, who was lying on her left side.

"A person who helps people." Answered a smiling ten year old boy without hesitation. His eyes did not waver from the sight of the brilliant night sky, which was pasted with bright shiny stars.

"A doctor?"

"Nah.. Nothing like that. Someone that would just.. Help needy people."

"N-Neeeedee?"

"Yeah, needy. A need is something what a person.. well.. needs." He answered, laughing.

"Oh. Well, whatever that is, I hope you become what you want to be."

The boy turned his head, looking straight into her eyes. He smiled warmly, and took her hand onto his.

"Even then, I wouldn't dream about helping people without you by my side."

Even though she did not understand what he meant, she smiled back childishly none the less. Eventually both of them just stared back up into the sky, enjoying the cool breeze and each other's presence.

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"This is absolutely perfect. They fall in love, get married, our kingdoms unite, and we would be sitting in our throne rooms five years later babysitting our grandchildren."

"Yes, it's a brilliant plan isn't it? And it's all thanks to _my_ idea."

The room was filled with roaring laughter.

"You give yourself too much credit, Kamiya." He stated, shaking his head.

"I _am_ a king after all, if that fact slipped your mind, Himura." He replied, slapping his friend's back.

"And what am I, a _pig_ in the sty?" Himura asked, dripping every word with sarcasm.

"Well, for one, I didn't say that, you did." He smiled, looking at the twinkling green-eyed king.

"Hummphf. Whatever happened to the 'no, no, of course not! You're still the high, migh-"

"-ty and fat jolly old' person that I befriended six years ago," Kamiya finished the sentence for him, grinned, and sat down.

"Well, I don't remember if it was six years ago..." He replied, as if deep in thought.

...Then suddenly- "FAT? Did you just call me fat?"

Kamiya coughed, but a snicker managed to escape from his throat.

"Why you,………………………….. #&!$#&$!!" (**AN**: Cough.)

Kamiya just looked up towards the cream-colored ceiling, ignoring Himura's insults that were thrown out. Seeing that Kamiya was by all means unaffected, he strongly declared;

"I swear upon my kingdom, I WILL get you back for that comment!" Himura puffed, eyes narrowing at his friend.

Kamiya started laughing. Eventually he got up and picked up a doughnut that was lying on the table. "Maa, maa.. No need to get worked up on petty comments." He said, giving him the doughnut as a peace offering.

Himura all but snatch the round pastry and grunted.

"Where are the little rascals anyway?" Kamiya asked, attempting to change topic.

"I think they're at the courtyard. I blandly remember Kenshin saying something about taking her there." He replied in between chews.

"What in the world would he want to take her there for? At this time of night? What if suddenly there were thieves or some sort? I don't recall seeing any guards stationed there! What if th-"

"Relax, Kamiya. I doubt there would be any thieves. Anyway, if there _were_ to be any, Kenshin would have them run away in less than five minutes, thanks to his amazing sword technique. That boy sure has got talent."

"_Amazing_ sword technique? Oh yes, oh yes, that must be the style of _Kamiya _Kasshin Ryu you're referring to."

Himura choked.

"_Kamiya_ Kasshin Ryu? My foot! He's learning the style that _I_ taught him, the ever-so great _Hiten Mitsurugi Ryu_. _Kamiya_ Kasshin Ryu indeed. Must be _your_ doing, that it is. My style would have kicked your style's ass anytime."

"Heeeey.."

There was a small silence after that, which broke into another round of roaring laughter.

"I told you I'd get you back for calling me fat."

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"I remember daddy said that we're going to get m-ma...rid when we grow up. What's that?"

"Ma... rid? Or do you mean... _married?"_

"I ... think so. He said something like that. So what does it mean anyway?"

"That means we're going to be together when we grow up."

"Really? That's great! Then maybe you can help me in my bakery shop." She said enthusiastically.

He replied with a few chuckles, not before stating- "I'd love to."

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_Ten years later._

"Y-you're lying. You're... _lying_. H-how dare you lie to_ me."_ she hissed, voice trembling with anger.

"N-no ma'm, I-I'm not. We were attacked, and moments later his body was found dead by the side of the streets. It is no lie. We brought it back, I'm terribly sor-"

"NO YOU'RE NOT!! YOU'RE NOT!! STOP _LYING _TO ME!!!" Her voice screamed out. Tears were flowing down from her eyes, anger spewing out inside of her.

The captain didn't say anything.

"B-bring his body to me. Now." She commanded shakily.

The captain waved his hand, signaling for one of the guards to comply with the order. He was afraid, afraid for his life that very instant. The princess was acting like a schizophrenic, with the fact that she seemed like she was going to blow any second. But then again, it wasn't everyday that she would receive news that her father had died.

The body was brought in. The princess spun her head around, looking down in horror at her late father's body. It was bloody. Her father's body was covered with blood, deep scratches and wounds were visible with bruises everywhere.

"N-no.. T-this cannot b-be.." The princess wept as she knelt down by her father's body.

Slowly, she called upon her father.

"D-daddy.. Please wake up.. D-Daddy.." She sobbed.

The corpse gave no response.

Seeing that the princess was at the urge of breaking down, the captain motioned for everyone to leave the room. Silently they obeyed, and in a matter of a few seconds, all that was left in the room was a bloody dead body of a father; and a heartbroken daughter.

"Don't do this to me.. Please wake up.. Daddy please.. Don't sleep on me.." She begged. Tears kept on flowing down, blurring her vision.

She stroked his hair, and kissed his cheek. Then sub-cautiously, she started tugging his clothing like what a five-year old would do, to get their parents' attention.

"Wake up.. Please wake up… W-wake up.." She whispered, refusing to believe that he would not wake.

"Papa.. Are you listening to me?! WAKE UP!"

Her voice echoed through the room.

"WAKE UP!!"

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It was pouring outside.

Heavy rain that was then joined with thunder and lightning.

"Did you find out who did it?" Her voice was cold, hard. Her face was stoic, harsh, and showed no emotion.

"N-no, your majesty. We're still investigating. Apparently there were to-"

"I gave you _two weeks_, just to find out who murdered my father. And all I get are your _excuses_. Tell me _Captain, _Is the task I gave you so difficult?" Her tone deadly harsh.

He gulped.

"N-no, your majesty."

"I _will_ give you another week, _Captain_. If you _fail_ me again, Don't be surprised that your head would be misplaced."

"Y-yes, your majesty."

"Good. Now get out."

He bowed, and left. As soon as the door closed, her face softened.

_Oh Kaoru, what have you become? Never have you spoken to Hanashi in that manner. What happened to your principles on respecting the elderly? And since when did your voice become so cold? What happened to you? -_A voice inside her rang.

_D-Daddy, can't you see what I've become? I'm acting like a spoilt brat, and everything opposite from what you have taught me._

_I need you, daddy. Why did you leave me?_

Sitting on a chair that was facing the huge glass window, she started crying silently. Believing that the heavens were crying with her.

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"_Papa, why does it rain?"_

"_Because every time someone dies, or when something bad happens, the heavens know about our grief as well. So they cry with us."_

"_What about God?"_

"_What about him?" he asked, sitting his pretty daughter on his lap._

"_W-well.. Since he's living in heaven and all.. he would know about our pains right? Wouldn't he do something to help us then? Instead of letting us cry and just leave us there."_

"_God never leaves us. When something bad happens to someone, it might mean that he/she did not follow God's way, or he/she ignored Him. You know very well that God cannot force us to make a choice. Decisions are always at our hands, and so when something bad goes our way, it is we that brought it upon ourselves. Never blame God."_

"_Oh."_

_Her father smiled lovingly at his daughter, as he held her closer._

"_What about the sky then? How does it not fall down?" she asked, swinging her legs back and forth._

"_There are angels up there, faithfully holding and carrying up the skies so that it does not fall down on us. They are God's helpers."_

"_Ahh. What are h-halpars?"_

_He laughed merrily, and corrected her. "Helpers, Kao, not halpars." _

"_They are someone that are there, to help us do something. Like you, Kao, you're my little helper."_

_Her eyes twinkled. "R-really?"_

_He smiled, a smile that only a father possessed. "So, do I have your word that when I need help, you'll be there for me?"_

"_Of course!" She grinned at him._

_He kissed her head, and there was a peaceful silence. Suddenly- "So.. what about snow? Why does it snow..?"_

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"I may not have helped you in that time of need, but I _will_ find your murderer, Papa. You've got my word on that." She whispered to no one in particular.

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"We found the culprit, your majesty." The captain reported to the princess, who was sitting down on her ever-so big chair, located in her room. She did not look at him, but continued to stare out the window.

"Go on."

"After some investigating, it is confirmed that the one who murdered your father is indeed, the Battousai."

"Battousai?"

"Yes, your majesty."

There were a moment of silence, and when she broke it-

"I told you captain, any mistakes and your head would be misplaced."

"But your ma-"

"It is _not_ the Battousai, I assure you."

"B-"

"I _said_, it is not him. Do not question me. I want you to find the _real_ culprit, now get out."

"Yes, your majesty."

He left the room abruptly.

She sighed, massaging her temples. For a eighteen year old, she sure was going through stress that a forty-year old would. Even though she was feeling a bit weary, it did not stop a thought from coming through her head;

_'It is not him that murdered papa. Surely it can't be him. It **cannot** be him. He wouldn't. I know it. They made a mistake, they definitely did.'_

A minute or so later, there was a soft knock on the door that interrupted her thoughts. Tiredly, she prompted whoever that knocked to come in. It was her personal servant, not to mention a sisterly-friend she never had. The princess smiled.

"Are you alright?" Her servant asked as she came in, closing the door quietly behind her.

"I'm fine, Sayo. Thank you very much for your concern. Just a little.. Tired." She gave a small smile.

Sayo grinned in return. "I heard that the captain has found your father's murderer. Why do you refuse to believe him?"

"Because he said that the murderer was…" She paused, as her eyes softened.

"Battousai." She finished, voice steady.

"Oh."

She understood. She understood completely. _Battousai.._

"Sayo.. I _know_ for a fact that he isn't the one that killed my father. Though.. there's this small doubt that I shamefully have.. I just can't seem to brush it of."

"Which is..?"

"I can't help but wonder, but.. D-Do you really think that he could have done it?"

"I.. I really don't know, Kao. I really don't. He's.. _changed." _She replied hesitantly, as she sat on the floor, next to the chair.

_Changed so, so much.. _Sayo thought silently.

Kaoru got off her comfortable chair, and sat next to Sayo on the cold hard floor. She leaned against her, like how she would when she was upset. Sayo wrapped her arms around the princess, something no one has ever done, except of course, the late king.

"I.. I miss him so much, Sayo.. I miss him terribly." The princess suddenly choked out, tears threatening to come out.

"I… know, I know.. He was a very dear man, even to me. It's okay Kao, you can cry.."

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And she did.

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**AN:** Um.. Honestly.. I don't really have an Idea where this story is going ('.')

But I hope you like it! I know Kaoru is abit OOC, but.. Oh well. I re-read this chapter a couple of times, and every time spotting grammatical errors. --.

**Edit (30/11)**: Schizophrenic means"split personalities". Like.. You know the show "Me, Myself and Irene?" Yes. Jim Carey in that show is a Schizophrenic (Thanks **Triste1** :D).

**Review please :)**


	2. 002

**AN:** Wow. So many reviews! O.o; Thank you so very much!

**To: **Half-breed-demon-fox, Wheee! (haha :D), Person, Prohibited, Angel of lonelyness, Ruronichik13, Erica6060, Bradybunch4529, GranolaBar, Cherryblossom, Triste1, Jing-Jing, Fantasy Angel Victoria, Gaby hyatt, and Prince Aoshi. This chapter is dedicated to you. 

**Triste1**: Thanks for pointing it out to me, I really appreciate it! Though I know I pictured Kaoru as a… dumb kid when she was ten…… But… Yeah. So despite of myself, I changed her age to eight. :x.

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**Chapter 2**

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_"W-When are you coming back?" she asked him shyly. _

_"About three months or so. Though I have a hint that you're worried about me, Kao." He grinned. _

_"Well.. Y-yes.." She looked down at her shoes, face flushing with great embarrassment. _

_Before she could look up, she felt him leaning towards her, kissing her forehead gently. She replied by wrapping her arms around his waist with her head buried in his chest. He, in return, accepted the embrace and simply hugged her back. _

_"I love you Kao." He whispered silently, but loud enough for her to hear. A few moments went by as none spoke. _

_"Just.. Make sure you return safely. Promise me?" She broke the embrace, and smiled brightly at him. _

_Running his fingers through her hair one last time, he looked at her in the eyes. _

_"Promise. …You take care now." And with that, he left. _

That was the last time she shared a memory with him, three years ago. Her fiancée, the one who never did return.

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Over the past three years, she heard about him from almost every person around her. He was, made legendary after all. Known for his swift killings and movements, fast god-like speed, and his cool amber eyes that could pierce through your very soul.

But she never did see him. Not even his shadow, for the past three years. And that frustrated her. She loved him, deep down she knew. So why didn't he return as he promised?

She was clueless on why he did not visit her, or why he never wrote, or why .. Everything just seemed to have died. Was it because she never told him that she loved him too? Or maybe he decided that she was too boring for him?

She was confused, mind filled with questions that were not answered.

She was angry that he would rather run off, slaughter people and build a name for himself that people would to fear; than to even drop by and say, "hello!". Wasn't she important to him?

Often times she thought of visiting him, instead of him coming to her. But in the end, it never did work out. She would either be too afraid of what was waiting for her there, or.. Well… She would just decide not to go. And so, it dragged on for three long years.

What made it more frustrating was when her father was murdered brutally; the captain reported to her that the killer was _him_.

What was she to do?

Deny it, of course. _It was a mistake_, she repeatedly told herself. But as time fades, she couldn't help but think that maybe, just _maybe_, the killer is indeed him.

Two days ago the captain returned, with the same report. But now according to his spies, plus new evidence, they are more confident with a hidden conclusion that the murderer _is_ Battousai.

She had no idea what to do. She was just so tired, tired of defending her fiancée who unofficially left her, tired of feeling depressed and mope about her father's death.

She felt pathetic.

She wanted to get back on track, with her life. But she found it so _difficult_. There was this pain that was twisting inside, filling her with tremendous grief.

_Papa..._

Ever since she was born, her father was her closest friend and companion. She admitted, she was way too dependant on him. Every time something would to go wrong, he would be the one to fix it. Every time she were to cry, he would be the one ready with a hanky.

Ever since he died, there had been sleepless nights, and now insomnia was just all too familiar with her.

She was stuck, she knew. But she couldn't seem to get over father's death. She loved him so much.

_I feel so pathetic_, her mind repeated.

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"Come in." She responded tiredly to the knockings on her door.

The door opened, and Sayo appeared, holding a tray filled with food. Using her legs, she closed the door by pushing it softly.

"Hungry?"

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"No."

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"At least eat a little b-"

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"No."

"Oh come on, _Your majesty_. You need to eat. It's been days since you refused to eat."

"Well, my _dearest servant_, I'm not hungry." She replied stubbornly.

"Eat."

"No."

"Eat."

"No."

"Fine."

Inwardly the princess gave herself a small triumphant smile.

"Seeing that you want all this food to go to waste so badly... You know, the one that I spent all my effort in preparing?"

All she received was a murderous glare (Which was easily ignored) in response.

"I think I'll eat it instead. You don't mind, do you, _Your majesty_?" Sayo asked, a hint of humor in her eyes, as she sat on the floor.

"Go ahead, my _dearest servant_." She replied, while trying (but failed) to keep a straight face. Hopping off her comfy chair, she joined her friend on the floor. She stared at the food her _dearest servant_ was consuming. After a while, she felt a teeny wee bit hungry.

It took only a matter of seconds when her majesty was seen eating hungrily with her dearest servant.

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"I don't want to be crowned queen. Not _now_."

"But your highness, you _need_ to be crowned_ now_. It's been two and a half weeks since your father had passed away! This land needs a replacement for the late king, and you're his only _descendent_ of royal blood." Iiezuwashi stated, emphasizing any words necessary.

"But I'm _not_ fit to be a ruler, royal blood or not. I have no idea about politics, or how to rule this land! I was never taught how to, since my husband-to-be has always been assumed to take over." she argued.

"And where's your husband-to-be then? You would need to get married as soon as possible, as preparations for the ceremony takes a long time. We need to plan this quickly, because we need to rush and complete the procedures as soon as possible."

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There was an awkward silence.

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"I-I can't." She said suddenly, with mild hesitation.

"Can't what, Princess?"

"I cannot get married." She answered, more firmly this time.

"Princess, you _need_ to get married, weather you like it or not. This marriage would be very important to us as the people of this land!"

"How am _I _supposed to get married if there is _no_ groom?" She asked, clearly annoyed. There was an edge to the tone of her voice.

She just did not like discussing about her fiancée with the chief advisor. In fact, she did not like discussing about him to anyone, Sayo excluded. It was obvious that they did not know much about him, and she would like to keep it that way.

"What.. What do you mean?" he asked.

She did not say anything for a certain amount of time, but he did not dare ask again. Finally, as she lifted her head and stared at Iiezuwashi with burning eyes, she answered simply-

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"He left me."

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_"Why is it that your chocolate cake tastes better than mine?" a very annoyed thirteen-year old princess whined. _

_"I don't know. Perhaps I have the gift in baking chocolate cake, and you don't?" came the reply of a grinning prince. _

_Amusement was dancing on the surface of his eyes. _

_It was in the middle of the night, and both of them could not sleep. It didn't take them long to decide to sneak into the kitchen and do something drastic. Which was, of course, encouraging our darling princess to bake a cake. _

_Sitting in front of them now, were two freshly baked-from-the-oven chocolate cakes. One looked like a piece of heaven, and the other……… looked like it wanted to kill itself. _

_"I don't think so." _

_"Why not?" _

_"Because according to papa, girls are much more of a better cook than boys." She said proudly. _

_"But… You're a tom-**boy**." He muffled a giggle. _

_It took a few seconds for his comment to process in her brain. And when it did, she all but glared and flung chocolate icing to his hair with her spatula. _

_Seeing that she declared some kind of an unspoken war, he took some flour into his hands and threw it in her face. _

_He waited in response as she spitted out some flour that entered her mouth. When she was done, she glared at him with all she could muster in a glare. _

_He began laughing at how fast her pretty face which was covered with flour twitched. _

_She then took the advantage of his distraction to smear more chocolate icing on his face with her bare hands. He stopped laughing, as he tried to slap her hand away. She was giggling hysterically now, as he pouted, face covered with chocolate. _

_"It's not funny." _

_"Yes it is." _

_Not satisfied, he held her head with both his hands and rubbed his face onto hers, with the intention of transferring the over-loaded chocolate to her face. _

_Soon both of their faces were covered with chocolate icing mixed with flour. _

_"Mou!" she shrieked girlishly. _

_He stuck out his tongue, and was about to say something when he heard footsteps approaching. _

_"Quick! Someone's coming!" he whispered as he pulled her hand, after each had grabbed their cake. He dragged her out the backdoor, and blew out the candles which had previously lighted the kitchen. _

_As soon as they dashed outside, they heard the main door to the kitchen being swung open. Light was suddenly apparent, and it didn't take long to hear the cook screaming— _

_"MY KITCHEN!!!!! ……Princess, are you here?! I'm sure this must have been your doing!!" _

_Her eyes widened, as blood rushed to her face in a blink of an eye. He instead, burst out laughing. She was about to go back into the kitchen and give the cook a piece of her mind, when he stopped her. He shook his head. _

_"But he had the nerve to insult me!" _

_"You're not thinking about confronting him looking like that, now do you?" _

_She looked down, and mumbled something(s) with a scrunched up face._

_Finally, with a surrendering tone, she gave in. "All right." _

_He smiled, as they sat down on the grass and ate their cake before the guards hunted them down. _

_"Don't worry bout your baking skills Kao. As least I'm gifted, and I'll bake for you whenever you want me to in your bakery shop." _

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Kaoru smiled at that memory. An hour later, the guards found them as they expected, and the next morning she received a half an hour lecture from her father, which was also expected. But she did not regret sneaking into that kitchen, not one bit. She had so much fun, that particular night.

_'So why did he leave me?'_

She felt a little twinge of guilt for lying to Iiezuwashi. _But it's not exactly a lie either._

_'He did…… in a way, he did leave me.'_

She sighed as she leaned herself against the glass window, face staring blankly into the raining sky. It was very dark, as the sun was covered by so many clouds. One would have mistaken it to be late evening, when it was only mid-afternoon.

_'What am I going to do?'_

She did not desire to sit on the throne all day long filled with meetings with other high ranked people, discussing about politics, something she has no idea about.

_'I hate this.'_

And yet it seemed that she had no choice.

But… Maybe, it would work out after all. If she were to be queen, she might handle her tasks well enough to progress her father's land. She might even conquer some lands, like Queen Elizabeth; someone she read about in a book. And make her father proud.

_'Yeah right. I'd probably sign some stupid agreement with a king from another country agreeing to give up the kingdom, and I wouldn't even realize it._'

She closed her eyes, and tried to meditate from the stress she was feeling. Suddenly feeling sleepy, she decided to sleep and deal with the problems when she woke up. Slowly, she moved towards her bed and plopped herself under covers.

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About three hours or so passed, when she stirred a little. But… Something felt… weird. Something felt different. And in a twisted sort of way, she was enjoying it.

Then it hit her.

Someone was _touching_ her face.

She wanted to open her eyes to see who it was, but her eyes were too heavy to cooperate with her brain. She shifted her head slightly, and heard a soft chuckle. A sweet chuckle that was irritatingly _familiar_.

_'What in the world?..'_

But she could not open her eyes, as hard as she tried. As sleep took over her again, a single thought rang in her head.

_'I'm going to drown whoever that invaded my privacy.'_

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**AN**: Um, I know that was kinda short, But... Ya. It took me quite long to think up with that, and I know there are some scenes where... it's stupid and not-down-to-earth (if you spotted it :x). There are also parts where there are grammatical errors, but I just can't seem to find the more suitable word (though I know there is).

I think I need a Beta reader.

Anyway, **Review please**! :D


	3. 003

**AN:** Once again, many thanks to your reviews!

To**: Erica6060**, **Half-breed-demon-fox, Jing-Jing, GranolaBar, Fantasy Angel Victoria, ****Nanakiyoda, Prince Aoshi, Jep,** **Triste1, Scented Candles, Prohibited **and** Strawberry Promises. **Thank you so much for your kind comments!

**Fantasy Angel Victoria**:Oh my, I think I got you very confused there O.o;; In the first chapter, it was a "flashback" to ten years ago (Kaoru was aged eight). So ten years later, she would be (10 8 18) eighteen. So now she's aged eighteen, and Kenshin being two years older, twenty. The first scene in the second chapter (which I stated three years ago) meant when Kaoru was fifteen. So now in the present, she's still eighteen. Hope my explanation didn't confuse you even more :) And thanks for commenting!

**Nanakiyoda**: Because in my opinion it is easier to read. Thanks for the comment :)

**Triste1**: Humm.. I'm not sure… Yet. Because in this fiction, her character is someone who is weak, afraid to believe. When she gets hurt, the cut is usually deep, nothing shallow. Not exactly the fiery woman in the anime series/manga. But it might take a turn in later chapters. Very OOC indeed. Anyway, thanks for your comment ;)

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**Chapter 3**

Kaoru woke up momentarily, but didn't make a move to get up from bed. She continued to lie down, as she allowed her body to flicker cautiousness into her surroundings. She heard the heavy rain outside, as she sunk deeper into her blankets that were providing her warmth.

'_Was it a dream?'_

She was not sure. All she could remember was someone touching… no, _caressing_ her face. And then there was the chuckle. The sweet, yet so familiar chuckle. Exhaling deeply, she let out a sigh.

'_It's definitely a dream. It's either that, or I'm being delusional.' _

She closed her eyes, visualizing _him_ in her head. Physically, she was tired. Mentally... She was extremely exhausted.

'_When are you coming back?'_

She felt the urge to cry. It's just so _painful_, the mere thought about him. It tore her into pieces, believing that he was never going to return to her.

Many times, she reflected back to the days when he was by her side, searching for mistakes that she might have committed, mistakes that she might not have been aware of.

But found none.

Sensing a headache approaching, she buried the side of her head into her pillow, refusing to think anymore.

'_I hate you Himura Kenshin. I hate you for the pain you're causing me now. I hate hate hate hate hate you.' _

Hearing some soft movements maneuvering, she dismissed it as she thought it was Sayo. As she was about to call her servant to bring her some water, she was cut off by a deep, rich male voice that echoed through the room.

"Kao? Are you awake?"

In a swift instant, her eyes snapped open, body stiffening.

And her breath hitched.

And her heartbeat stopped.

And time had disappeared for Kamiya Kaoru that very instant.

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She dared not move. She didn't even dare look up. Millions of thoughts were racing back and forth, her breathing unsurprisingly irregular.

"Kao, are you awake?" again, the voice repeated.

Then she heard hollow footsteps coming towards her. She shut her eyes tightly, clutching onto her pillow, as if clinging for dear life.

'_I'm being delusional. This is an illusion. A hallucination. That's right. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is n-'_

Her body relaxed a little after repeating the mantra, but tensed up again as she felt him behind her, stroking her hair gently.

He was behind her.

Oh God.

"Aren't you going to get up?" he whispered as he sat on the edge of her bed, knowing very well she was awake.

Feeling the shift of weight on her bed, she suddenly felt nervous.

She was afraid, very much afraid that she was dreaming. That when she turned, there would be nothing but air, and it was in her mind all along. She didn't think that she could even cope with disappointment at this stage.

But something inside told her, _urged_ her to turn. Then slowly, but surely, she moved her head to where the voice came from.

And then she saw him. Face to face. His nose, his mouth, his ears, his eyes… His scar. Everything. An unknown aura washed over her, as the sight that she had yearned to see for three damn years, was here. Right in front of her.

She reached out her right arm shakily, touching and feeling the texture of his face. She wanted to make sure he was real. He smiled, and replied by clasping her hand that was on his face with his.

And all doubt washed away.

'_He's back. He's really back.'_

Completely lost for words, she sucked back a sob. She would not cry, not now. She felt everything around her disappearing, her eyes only focused on his.

"I see…" He said at first, breaking the tension. Reluctantly, he continued. "… That you haven't opened your bakery shop yet."

Immediately she jolted up and grabbed him in her arms. Hugging him tightly with all her might, afraid to let him go. Not caring anymore, she started sobbing uncontrollably.

He hugged her back as tightly, soothing her softly with gentle words. He buried his head in her hair, inhaling her scent that sent familiar feelings and emotions flooding through his veins.

"Don't l-leave me again. P-Please…. Just don't l-leave me again." She choked out in between her sobs. Her voice was croaking, and she hated the fact that she sounded so pathetic in front of him.

She was having a breakdown, and she knew it.

"I won't." He assured her. "Never again."

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_"I'm not afraid I'm not afraid I'm not afraid I'm no- AHHHHHHHH!" she was whispering silently to herself, but ended up in high pitch screams as her small body ducked under her thick comforter._

'_It's only lighting, dummy. There's nothing to be afraid of.' She scolded herself mentally._

_So why was she shaking as if there was a mad rapist on the loose? The thundering sound of lighting came again, and again she screamed. She wanted to cry so badly, for she was filled with so much fear._

_She remembered briefly seeing her mother lie on her death bed, face pale as snow. During that period, her mother was very weak, as she could not even hold her glass of milk properly. It would slip as soon as she held it, shattering the glass into pieces. It seemed that as days passed, her strength was being sucked out bit by bit._

_Similarly on that day, it was raining cats and dogs. The wind was blowing heavily, and thunder came crashing down to the face of the earth._

_Exactly like what was happening now. _

_The wind continued to howl, forcing the branches of a willow tree to scratch her window simultaneously. Thus producing an eerie sound._

_And that made it all the creepier, than it already was. She was about to scream again, when she heard a squeaky voice, calling out to her._

"_Kao, Are you alright?" _

_She willed herself to pop her head out from the thick comforter. And when she did, she saw Kenshin in his pajamas. He was holding on to her door, eyes etched with worry._

_Thank the Lord._

_-_

_Half a minute later, he was lying down next to her, listening to all her worries and fears. When she was finished, he assured her that thunders would go away, as well as calming her down with much effort. She sniffed a little and turned to hug him, to his utmost surprise._

"_Thank you so much, Kenshin."_

_He smiled, and hugged her back. He kissed her cheek, whispering- "Rest now, Kao. I'll be with you until you fall asleep."_

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She was sitting on his lap, with his arms wrapped around her protectively. They were comfortably resting on her chair that faced the long, glass window. All she heard was the rain, and his breathing.

She still couldn't seem to convince herself to believe that he's back. It just seemed so… surreal. It was a moment of peaceful silence, when she unwillingly broke it. After all, her curiosity killed the cat.

"Why didn't you come see me even _once_, in three years?" She asked, fiddling with his fingers.

There was another silence, as thunder roared outside.

"I… I couldn't come see you, even though I wanted to." He finally answered, choosing his words carefully.

"Why not?" She wanted an answer. She _needed_ an answer.

"There were some issues that were going on in the kingdom. I needed time to fix some things, and I wasn't allowed to leave the kingdom, even for a day."

"What issues?"

He wasn't willing to spare any details. If he could, he would rather keep everything to himself. But then again, she had every right to know. Battling on weather should he tell her everything, he finally decided to keep it brief.

"Well, it involved…. Corrupted officials. My peoples' lives were in danger, and there was also a pest lingering around, and I had to take care of it. It's all just very complex."

"Since this is such big news, how come my land did not receive any information about this matter?" she asked, surprised.

"I strictly told parties involved to keep it a secret. Spreading the news around would just invite my father's enemy to attack us with open arms. It would be an advantage for them, after all." He explained.

"How in the world did you manage to keep something so big?"

"I have my ways." He grinned.

She smiled a little, but there were still so many questions left unanswered. And Kaoru Kamiya was not known for her patience, never was. Never will.

'_Now isn't the right time. Another day would come, and your questions would be answered then. All that matters now is that he's here, with you.' _A voice inside said.

"But… You could have at least written to me…" she said softly. His grin faltered, as her tone reflected hurt.

"I'm sorry Kao… I just… couldn't." he apologized, tightening his grip on her.

'_It's alright. All that matters is that he's here.' _The voice inside said again.

That's right.

'_All that matters is that you're here.'_

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Four days have passed, and the princess was lifted in spirits. She was genuinely happy, overjoyed even, that her lover has returned.

Seeing that she was paranoid all this while, she shook her head. He _wanted_ to see her, but he was just not allowed to.

So it wasn't his fault.

She smiled to herself, as she walked through the halls. Sayo was accompanying her as they headed towards the chief advisor's room. He had asked to see her earlier on, to discuss some matters. Though she had a hint on what "matters" they were going to discuss about.

Her marriage with Kenshin.

She was finally going to marry the person whom she loved, ever since she was a child. Someone who was often times there for her, someone who she was sure going to treat her right. Is everything going to go uphill from now? She wondered.

_Definitely_. Something in her gut told her it would.

As she entered the room, she saw that Kenshin was already seated down. He flashed her a lazy smile, as she grinned back. Iiezuwashi bowed, as he started off with suggestions, plans, and arrangements about the wedding. Then he explained the procedures, and how the ceremony would be held.

After some alteration in the date and time, all three parties came to an agreement that they would to wed in two months time. Which falls in the month of Christmas. The princess wanted everything to be perfect, atmosphere and season included. Iiezuwashi insisted that they should wed next week instead, but eventually gave in to the princess's request.

Everyone was happy about it, except for one particular person.

The captain had immediately protested, as soon as he found out that she were to marry Battousai. In complete shock, he demanded to see the princess.

"_But he's your father's murderer!"_ he exclaimed hastily.

"I have asked him about this matter, and he told me straight that he did not do it. I've given you enough time to investigate this case, captain. And yet you failed to fulfill it." She replied, voice steady.

"Your majesty, I _did_ carry out my duties, and I did give you a name, did I not?" He asked, defending himself.

"Yes, you did." She admitted. "But it is not the right name that you gave me."

"With all due respect, your majesty, But wouldn't it occur to you that he might be lying? The evidence and inform-"

"He would not lie to _me_, captain. Get that through. He would _never_ lie to me." She cut in, hissing. Angry that he would dare think that Kenshin would lie to her.

He was, on the other hand, quite taken aback.

"But princess, if h-"

"You're dismissed, captain."

"Bu-"

"Do you not understand my command?" she asked, clearly evident that she was trying to hide her annoyance.

"Yes, your majesty." And with that, he exited hesitantly, unsatisfied.

She sighed, as she got up from the chair that she was sitting on. Glancing on her full length mirror, she stared at her reflection.

'_He would never lie to me. I know he wouldn't.'_

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It was in the afternoon when Sayo was walking alone, exploring through the gardens. Her mistress was currently spending time with her husband-to-be, leaving her free for the time being. Strolling down a lane that were planted with white roses left and right, she plucked one.

She remembered the princess telling her once what a white rose meant.

'_When someone dies, you put white roses on their coffin. Some would give white roses to the family instead, a way to say "my condolences". So in a way, it's meant for funerals.'_

"But a white rose is too beautiful to have such a meaning..." she said to herself.

Distracted by her own thoughts, she did not notice a tall, slinky man coming her way. He must have failed to notice her as well, as they collided -causing the two of them to fall on the floor.

Hard.

"Dammit man! Watch it, will you?! Are you blind or something?" he complained harshly, not looking up. Groaning at the pain that came running through him, he got up slowly.

"_Excuse_ me? I believe that it is _you _that knocked into _me_. You've got some nerve, speaking like that." Sayo snapped at him, irritated. She couldn't believe that she was just about to apologize to this rude barbarian.

He was about to say something vulgar, but stopped when he looked up. She was glaring at him, as she dusted off her dress. But in his eyes, all he saw was a lady. A real _pretty_ lady. His face broke into a grin, as he offered his hand.

"My name's Sanosuke. But you can call me Sano for short, beautiful." He introduced, giving her a sexy smile.

She raised an eyebrow, irritation still glowing on her face. _'He sure changes his moods quickly.'_

"Well, aren't you going to tell me who you are?"

"Um, no?" she replied sarcastically. Seeing that he wasn't even thinking about apologizing to her, she spun her heels and walked away.

"W-wait!" he shouted, jogging up to her.

"What?" She asked, clearly annoyed.

Walking side by side, he casually put his arms around her shoulders, shocking the lights out of her. "Do you want to go out with me sometime?"

"For one, get your_ filthy hands_ off me." She said in a voice strangely calm, jerking his hands off her. Even though his hands were not on her now, he was still standing too close to her, much to her discomfort.

So she pushed him away, and threw the white rose she was holding on to his face. Her mistress's voice rang through her again;  
'_When someone dies, you put white roses on their coffin. Some would give white roses to the family instead, a way to say "my condolences". So in a way, it's meant for funerals.'_

"And for another, that would answer your question, you jerk." With that, she stomped off angrily.

He stood there, picking up the rose.

"She likes me."

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**AN: **I had to make Sano's appearance SOMEWHERE.

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**Please review!** (This time I said it differently, as the past chapters I said "**Review please!**".)


	4. 004

**AN:** I realized that some of you are confused about the past three chapters... :x  
So I'm going to try my best and explain what I was –trying- to cough**illustrate**cough.

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**Brief summary on the first three chapters.**  
Kamiya Kaoru is a princess who was betrothed to a prince from another kingdom, namely Himura Kenshin, ever since they were at a very tender age. The first chapter attempted to explain the close relationship between Kamiya and Himura (the two fathers), as well as Kenshin and Kaoru, their children.  
Then the chapter was forwarded to ten years later, the scene taking place where Kamiya (Kaoru's father) dies from a brutal murder. She was devastated, since she loved him deeply.  
Adding to her frustration, the captain tells her that the murderer was Kenshin, her fiancée.

In the present time she's eighteen, the year she was supposed to wed Kenshin. So in chapter two, it tells you that for the past three years, Kenshin never visited, talked, seen or wrote to her _once_. And that makes her feel even worse. They do love each other, so it's not surprising that she's confused on why he did not bother to see her. (that was what she thought.)  
I wrote a lot of flashbacks in this chapter, and it ends with Kaoru feeling tired, wanting to sleep. She does sleep eventually, but was stirred a little when she felt a touch on her face.

Now, in chapter three, Kenshin returns and Kaoru feels relieved. Upon his arrival, the chief counselor plans their wedding, which would be taking place in two months. Still determined to find her father's murderer, she pressures the captain to find the culprit.  
But the captain insists that the murderer is her husband to be, (according to evidence and spies) in which Kaoru objects completely. She's determined to believe that Kenshin would never lie to her, giving him her full trust.

-Exhales- Did that clear your confusion? Let me know :D.

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**To ---** Erica6060, Strawberry Promises,** **Fantasy Angel Victoria, Nanakiyoda, Mademoiselle Anime, Prohibited,** **Bradybunch4529, Kaiya Kimura, ?-?-?-? **(Very anonymous-y indeed)**, Triste1, Scented Candles, Shadow61x, Jewel Of Souls **and **Kitsune**. Thank you very much for your reviews :)**  
**  
**Scented Candles**: Haha, well I guess that would be for ME to know, and for YOU to find out! (I've always wanted to say that.) Thanks for the offer! I'll email you the next chapter then, alright? Leave me your email address in a review, or… email me or something. :)  
And as for that mistake of mine… I'm not sure either - -; I think I'll ask my mom when she comes home later. Cough.

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**Chapter 4**

"When are you going to release him?" he demanded, tone disturbingly low.

It was past midnight, and the sky was awfully dark. Two men were conversing secretly in an abandoned hut, and even though they could not see each other, they were very much aware of their companion's ki.

"When I get what I want." The other one replied, smirking.

"I've been doing your filthy work for over three years. You've got what you wanted." He spat, growling.

"Not exactly."

"Then what the _hell_ do you want?" He snarled nastily. His patience was wearing thin, and this bastard had him wrapped around his fat, scrawny finger for such a long time. Using him whenever he pleased, as if he was some kind of an instrument; some kind of a doll.

There was a silence, when none said a word. Then –"It was my first intention from the very beginning to take over the land." He started, then pausing. "I want his kingdom."

His eyes widened in surprise. But as quickly as it came, it disappeared.

"And you, you would be the one who would get it for me."

Silence.

"I will not allow myself to be a part of this." He said angrily, making himself clear. The other man, on the other hand, smiled wickedly. Even though his "accomplice" had protested, inwardly both of them knew that he had no choice but to follow his orders.

"You _are_ already a part of this. There's no way to turn it around."

He remained silent.

Taking it as an opportunity to continue, he persisted –"Remember, you cannot disobey me. You know what would happen, if you do."

Quietly he looked down, fury building inside him. His eyes reflected cold, hard steel in the midst of the night. He felt so useless, and yet ironically, he was anything but. Just hearing those words coming out from _him_, an acting puppeteer, was venom. It burned him inside, burned him deeply.

Closing his eyes, he silently replied -"I understand."

He was just not allowed to disobey.

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_"Happy birthday!" he greeted happily as he handed her a box. It was wrapped with colourful paper, with ribbons and shiny things sticking out from the surface. It seemed that he had wrapped the gift as if his life had depended on it, with an effort to make it look pretty._

_But it looked crappy._

_It was her tenth birthday, and since this was her first time turning two-digits, he wanted everything to be extra special. So he bought her a gift using his own money, as well as wrapping the gift himself. He had even spent an hour straining his neck decorating it._

_Nevertheless above it all, she thought it looked perfect, much to his satisfaction. Grinning at him, she casually took it from his hands and fiddled with the ribbons, pretending to admire his workmanship. He stood there next to her, anxiously waiting for her to open his present._

_He hoped she liked it._

_Slowly, gently, she tore the paper apart; carefully using her fingers to prevent herself from destroying decorative parts of the paper. She wanted to keep it for remembrance, after all.  
Finally when she was done with the wrapping paper, a wooden box was sitting at the palm of her hands. She looked up, and she saw him beaming at her, encouraging her to carry on._

_She slid the box open, and her eyes widened at what she saw._

_Shells. Small and medium-sized seashells of different kinds, each colourful and unique in its own way. Every single one was cleaned and polished, every single one beautiful. She was about to thank him, when a slim leather string that was poking out from the sea of shells caught her eye. Pulling it out curiously, she then realized that it hung five silver beads. Each bead had her alphabet neatly carved; spelling out her name._

_It was simple, yet so lovely. She was wordless, since no one had ever given her a necklace before, not even her parents. It was, very appealing in her eyes. She glanced at him, and to her amazement he still had that nervous look on his face._

_"So? D-Do you like it?" He asked excitedly, yet there was a tint of anxiety in his voice._

_"I… Honestly, I… I don't like it." She said quietly, face downcast as she played with the necklace._

_His face fell almost immediately when the words left her mouth, disappointment evident on his face. But before he could open his mouth to ask her why, she cut in-_

_"That's because I absolutely love it." She said gleefully, giving him a big hug. A few seconds passed and she heard him sigh heavily in relief.  
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Four weeks have passed, and there were just four more to go. She was in front of her father's grave, sighing contently as she fiddled with her silver-beaded necklace. Feeling the stony texture of his engraved name on her fingers, she sighed even more.

"I'm getting married in a month's time, papa. I… I wish you were here." She spoke quietly. She was happy and contented with everything now, but she knew she shouldn't be, she thought guiltily. Wasn't she still supposed to be mourning for her father's death?

_'No. I've cried enough. It's time to carry on._' A voice said firmly.

Yes, it was time to carry on. But she would still find his murderer, even if it costs her whole lifetime searching for him. However, she was sure deep down that the killer was not Kenshin, even though the "evidence" proved so.

So what was this small doubt that keeps tugging at the edge her heart, telling her that something was wrong?

She tried ignoring it, but couldn't seem to get rid of it.

"I miss you so much papa, you'll never know. If… If only you were here so that I could ask you what I were to do now, to fulfill my duty as a daughter."

She flinched when she suddenly felt a pair of strong arms circling around her waist, as a deep voice whispered in her ear –"He would have wanted you to be happy and move on, Koii."

She smiled as she touched the pair of warm hands, brain instantly recognizing the voice.

"And that would only come to pass with you by my side," She murmured, as she felt his grip grow more firm. A minute went by, as the both of them stayed in that position, treasuring the moment.

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"KYAAAAAAA!" She yelled as she ran forward, swinging her bokken onto his own with full force. The sound of two wooden sticks clashing echoed through the room, as he blocked it gracefully. Pulling back, she readied herself to attack him again.

They were sparing in one of the training rooms for about thirty minutes now. He had suggested it while they were having lunch earlier, with the excuse of -"Let's see if you have improved since the last time I sparred with you." Which was approximately four years ago, she thought dully.

But being the skilled swordsman that he was, he had effortlessly prevented all the strikes she sent him, as well as giving her an amused smile now and then, in which, she returned with glaring eyes.

She was clearly on the offense, while he was on defense.

"You're mocking me." She noted, as he blocked another one of her hits.

"How so?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. She tried striking him from below as he answered, but his eyes have been observing enough to predict her next move. He easily avoided it, by moving his leg to the right.

"See?" she pointed out darkly.

He laughed as he ducked his head, preventing her from disjointing his head off his neck. Seeing that she didn't even have the slightest chance of whacking him (as well as getting his stupid smile off his face), she stopped charging at him, as she stood puffing. He grinned at her, as she smiled back sarcastically, -which was immediately washed away into a frown. She breathed loudly as she fell to the ground in exhaustion, closing her eyes.

"I give up."

"Oh?" He asked, acting as if he was in disbelief.

"Obviously I have no match against the great Battousai." She replied without thinking.

He winced at that nickname, but she didn't see it since her eyes were kept closed. He towered over her, resting his hand on the standing position that his bokken was in. After a while, she opened her eyes, only to see his golden brown eyes starring back at her. She was surprised, but when she was about to say something, he cut her off.

"Anyone, _anyone,_ can call me by that name, but _you,_ cannot." He stated gravely, as he pulled her up, letting go of his bokken.

She looked at him questionably, smacking his hands away. "And why not?"

"Because," he replied while tugging her close, resting his forehead on hers. "I _hate_ that name."

She gazed into his eyes, as she whispered softly, "There is no reason to hate it."

There was a pause.

"I have every reason in the world to despise it."

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She was taking a nice, relaxing bath, as she cleaned herself from head to toe. Sinking herself back into the tub filled with lukewarm water, she let her thoughts wonder back. Her head was filled with a new set of questions, which were left unanswered, much to her displeasure.

_'Why does he hate that name so much?' _

He had instantly dropped the subject before she could ask, as he told her to wash herself up, not before teasing her that she smelled like cow.

_'But he did create that name himself, didn't he?' _

According to some telltales in the palace, he had earned that title for his flawless style of the Battoujitsu. She haven't had the chance to witness his skill take place before, but apparently the ones who have seen it, didn't live to tell it.

She shuddered at that information, as she heard a voice calling out, interrupting her train of thoughts.

"Are you done yet?"

"Aa."

Sayo came in, as she slowly got up. Her back was facing her friend, as Sayo wrapped a fluffy towel around her wet body. Turning around, she gave a smile while Sayo helped her out of the tub.

"So, how was your sparring time with Kenshin?" Sayo asked, sitting herself down on the princess's bed. Waiting for an answer while Kaoru dressed herself behind the screen, she straightened wrinkled parts of her blouse.

After a few moments, Kaoru appeared fully clothed, wiping her hair dry with a towel.

"It was… interesting." She answered, as she starred at her reflection in the long, slim mirror, continuing her task with drying her damp hair.

"Interesting?"

"There was nothing to expect, really. I mean, he_ is_ a legendary..." she replied, but paused momentarily as she continued, "-… manslayer after all, isn't he?"

Silence.

"I guess you're right. But I've a feeling something happened, so _dear princess_, prove me wrong."

Kaoru grinned, as she settled herself on her bed, next to Sayo. "Well, _darling servant_, you're right."

"He told me that I wasn't allowed to call him 'Battousai', when it slipped out from my mouth."

She frowned at that memory. "I wonder why."

"I'm surprised you didn't ask why."

Smiling, she replied -"I know he wouldn't have answered if I _did_ ask him. Anyway, he left the topic hanging, as he changed it abruptly. I didn't want to push it."

Mouthing an "o", Sayo responded as she held the princess's hand, -"Don't worry Kao. I'm sure as time comes, the questions would answer by itself."

Sparing her a sly grin, Kaoru switched the subject. "So, how's dear Sanosuke?"

Sayo's face immediately twitched, as she exhaled heavily, indirectly illustrating her frustration as well as a motion to release some tension.

Kaoru laughed. "I see. What did he do this time?"

It seems that Sanosuke was a "friend" Kenshin had brought along. After that _fascinating_ encounter Sayo had with him, she had been complaining about him as if he was _everything_ that happens in her day.  
Kenshin had introduced Kaoru to Sano the following day, right after Sayo had told Kaoru about her meeting with an insignificant idiot.

And unfortunately (in her point of view), she had been with Kaoru when the introductions were made.

When Sanosuke recognized Sayo, his face had instantly lit up, as he waved comically at her. She all but scowled back in reply.  
Ever since that day, many attempts were made to make her date him. And surely, as predicted, none of them succeeded.

"He baked me a pie."

Kaoru straight away turned her head to face her, a look of amusement painted all over her face.

"And there was a piece of paper inside, a 'giant replica of a fortune cookie', he told me, when I chewed on that nasty, _nasty_ thing," She said, making a face.

"I can still taste that heavily inked paper in my mouth."

After a few seconds of unusual calmness, Kaoru broke into a hysteric bag of giggles, after some difficult struggling to hold it in. "So, what did that 'fortune paper' say?" she asked in between her fits of giggling.

"Go out with the intelligently tall, dark and handsome, as well as the sexy and uncanny Sanosuke Sagara, and you'll never live to regret it."

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**AN**: Sigh. I hate my grammatical errors. It's very frustrating :. Anyway, kindly leave me review if you read this chapter, because I really need some opinions on what you thought about it! 


	5. 005 EDITED

**EDIT (13/1/2005): **This chapter was revised, with some corrections, and there is also small **additional scene at the end of it. **But as for the bits and pieces of this fiction, see if you notice any changes :D

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**AN**: Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank you so**very**muchforyourprettyandwonderfulreviews! (I bet you can't read that.)

**I gave candy to:** Mademoiselle Anime, Erica6060, Strawberry Promises, Anime-luney, Ochako107, Yami-Yugi-Girl, Triste1, Coke48kenshin, Kawaii96, Scented Candles, Nekotsuki, and Aoshilover :).

Your encouraging reviews had helped me in a small way or another, weather you know it or not. You guys kick ass.

So here's chapter five, to my now-eating-candy-readers.

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**Chapter 5**

Humming a sing-song tune to herself, she trotted down the cold hallways, glancing every now and then at the paintings that were plainly hanging on the walls. Eyes skimming at every door she passed, she suddenly caught sight of a certain red-head's back, through a small gap caused by the door that wasn't properly shut.

He was sitting inside the library.

Grinning, she quietly pushed the door open, careful to keep the doors from creaking.

They were, very very old doors, and some parts needed oiling.

Sneaking up behind him, she half expected him to say, "Give it up, I know what you're doing." Since he could read people's ki a mile away. Gently placing her hands on his eyes, she imitated a rough voice.

"Guess who?"

To her astonishment, she felt him wince in surprise. But after being struck by realization, his face broke into a small grin of recognition.

"Well," he started, as he pretended to be deep in thought. "Obviously it's not Sano, seeing you have such smooth and delicate hands."

She stifled her laugh, as she felt his lips twitch into a smile.

There was a moment of silence.

"These are definitely my lover's hands." He said finally as he pulled her hands away, light immediately penetrating through his eyes. Kaoru was revealed in front of him, who was laughing light-heartedly.

Pulling her firmly into his arms, he more than welcomed the distant body warmth that she possessed.

Comfortably burying his head into her hair, he breathed in her scent as she spoke up teasingly. "I can't believe you didn't sense my ki."

He smirked.

"I guess I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to have noticed your presence."

It took a few moments for her to properly digest his statement, and when understanding finally did sink in, she pouted.

"Was that an insult?" she inquired with a raised brow.

His started laughing, as he lifted his head from her dark, raven tresses. Looking into her eyes, he replied bemusedly. "My little darling's temper flair hasn't changed a single bit,"

She pouted some more.

"You jump into conclusions too fast, Kao."

She raised an eyebrow.

"You know I would never insult you."

She snorted.

"Even though your characteristics are far from a lady," he said as a matter-of-factly.

She scowled.

"But even then, I still love you." He said warmly, as he bent down to give her a nice, long, and lingering kiss, much to her delight.

-

"You're _finally_ _seventeen_!" Kaoru exclaimed, as she handed Sayo a stylishly wrapped package. It was twelve midnight, and Kaoru had called for her servant's attendance in the study room.

"Happy Birthday," she greeted, as she gave Sayo a warm hug.

"I can't believe you remembered," Sayo murmured softly as she returned the hug, smiling broadly.

"Of course, silly! And… s_omeone else_ did too," the princess teased, as she let out a giddy laugh.

Before Sayo could open her mouth to ask whom Kaoru was pertaining to, someone had clumsily barged into the room.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" came the loud, manly voice, as he knocked over a plant. Instantly on reflex, he started busying himself by fixing and cursing the plant, as she peered her eyes closer to the figure.

A gasp escaped Sayo's throat, as she turned to gape at Kaoru in horror.

Her mistress tried to look nonchalant.

Silently mouthing, "_Why in the world did you spread it to him?!" _

"_Cut him some slack and give the poor boy a chance." _Kaoru mouthed back

Sano beamed as he walked closer, yanking Sayo into one of his big and warm bear hugs, visibly startling her senses.

It was the first time their bodies touched so firmly, making her feel a little awkward. She wasn't complaining though since he smelt good, but he didn't need to know that.

But then again, the hug was another story.

She was about to protest wildly for embracing her without her permission, when she saw the look on Kaoru's face behind his shoulders.

Sayo sighed as she reluctantly returned the hug, slowly patting his back, trying to reconsider her mistress's words.

But alas, it only lasted for a second or two, after Sano opened his big, fat, mouth.

"Since you're into hugs and all," he started happily, as he continued in a cheery tone. "Why not throw in a kiss or two with that?"

* * *

Sano entered his bedroom, ferociously rubbing his sore head. Plopping himself on his four-poster bed, he murmered gloomily to himself. "Some people just don't appreciate my unique sense of humor."

"But then again, no one does." Came an amused reply.

Whipping his head to the direction of the voice, Sano awkwardly acknowledged his presence, as his tone ended in a bit of a surprise. "Kenshin."

Kenshin nodded in reply, as he continued his task of sitting lazily on the white, velvet chair, looking grim.

"So, what brings you to my territory?"

There was a pause.

"I need to finish the assignment before the wedding, and I'm running out of time." The redhead answered quietly, a hint of exasperation coloring the edge of his voice.

Sano remained silent, as he noted the seriousness in his tone. "There are only fourteen days left till the ceremony," he counted, glancing at Kenshin. "You need to do this quickly."

"I know."

Silence.

"Do you know _how _to get it done?"

There was another moment of pause, when Kenshin finally answered, rubbing his temples. "No, I don't."

"Oh."

"I'm… I'm stuck at a dead end. Either way, I _will _loose something," he said solemnly, getting up from his seat. "You don't need to be with me, Sano. You know you can leave if you want to." Kenshin said suddenly as he stood by the door, hand resting on the doorknob.

That sentence was enough to jerk Sano away from his thoughts, as a tense silence filled the air.

Something in Sanosuke had clearly snapped.

"The hell- _Kenshin_. In spite of my background, I will remain loyal till the end, you should _know_ that, of all people." Sano retorted angrily, breaking off as he frowned at him.

"And anyway, _friends_ don't ditch each other at times like _these_. I can't believe you would even _think_ that I'll even _consider_ abandoning you now," he grumbled.

Turning the handle as he exited the room, Kenshin all but shook his head in amusement. Turning his head a little, he didn't let Sano miss the look of gratitude on his face.

* * *

"She loooooooves me, she loves me not."

Plucking out the petals one by one from the now very bald white rose, he sniffed slightly as starred at the innocent flower in dislike, after the outcome was revealed.

"She loooves me, she loves me not, she loooooooooooooooooves me, she… WHAT?! …Not counted, not counted." He muttered, as he threw away the 10th white rose to the ground, picking up another one from the bouquet, starting his recital all over again.

"She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she l-"

"Um, Sano? What…. What in the _world_ are you doing?"

The brunette turned his head to the door, only to see Kaoru staring amusedly at him. Grinning, he motioned for her to enter his room. She walked towards him, stepping on the disengaged petals sprawled across the floor.

"This, Little Missy," he pointed out, "-is like a fortune teller."

"A.. Flower as a fortune teller?" She asked quizzically.

"Yeap. From where I come from, you pluck the petals, one for "he loves you," and one for "he loves you not", repeating it over and over again until you reach the last petal."

"Oh. I see." She answered, as she fiddled with a white rose, letting him continue his newfound hobby.

"As I was saying, She loves me not, she looooooooooooooves me, she loves me not, she loves me…"

Twenty seconds later, an irritated groan broke out as he flung the petal-less rose to the floor, eyes shooting daggers at the dead flower.

"Sayo problem, perhaps?" she asked absent-mindedly, grinning at Sano.

He smiled sheepishly at her.

"Why are you so attracted to her anyway?" she asked curiously. "She hardly responds to any your _charms_."

"Well.. I'm not sure, really. There's _something_ about her," he replied, pausing for a moment of thought.

"It's something intriguing, something in her that pulls me nearer, something that's attractively… _different._ You know?" he finished, glancing at Kaoru.

"I.. I guess. I wouldn't really know, because… Kenshin isn't… isn't really like that, but… the again, he …is." She answered lamely. "I'm not even sure what I'm talking about."

Slightly smiling, he looked at her. "But… Missy, promise me one thing?"

"Hm?"

"Whatever… Whatever that happens in the future, remember that Kenshin loves you _a lot_. Hell, he practically _adores _every single bone in your body."

Kaoru flushed as she giggled a little. "What _exactly_ are you trying to say, Sanosuke?"

"Sano." He corrected.

"Alright, alright. _Sano_."

"Just… just promise me that whatever,_ whatever_," he stressed, making sure he got his point through, as she nodded for him to carry on. "-happens, he lovesand I mean_ loves _you, and that he had _never _meant to hurt you in the very first place."

She gazed at him, heaps of confusion and yet a tinge of amusement painted on her features.

"Things are not always what they seem," he said, half proud that words of wisdom had a chance to come out from his mouth.

Actually, come to think of it, those were the _only_ words of wisdom to ever come out from his foul mouth.

"Things are not always what they seem." She repeated carefully.

"Yes, so promise me."

"I promise," she replied laughingly, brushing off the matter after they started chatting about a new topic.

Kaoru remained blissfully unaware that Sano's statement and her promise would mean something more, something more than what it seemed.

-

"I do not care how you do it, but you _better finish it quick_. I'm growing impatient." He hissed.

"I'm working on it, dammit!" came the sharp reply. He was annoyed and aggravated, for being rushed and forced into doing something he wholeheartedly did not want to do. Washed over by frustration, it took all of his will not to take hold of his sword and slice the piece of revolting flesh in front of him.

"If you don't finish it in due time," he growled, as he continued. "I won't be responsible if something _drastic_ happens to your darling little princ-"

He was cut off as he felt a blade immediatly pointed at his neck. Slightly shivering as he saw a piercing color of amber flash by him, he tried to look composed and undisturbed, even though he felt the complete opposite inside.

"You _touch_ her," he whispered in a deadly tone, body filled with rage. "And I'll see to it myself that you _rot_ in hell."

He did not reply, as his mind grew blank with fright. Then, letting out a nervous laugh, he pathetically declared –"You cannot kill me. You wouldn't dare."

Realization sunk in together with those four words. _You cannot kill me._

It was true.

And it was like a harsh slap across the face.

Slowly, and reluctantly, he re-sheathed his blade.

Tensed silence hung in the air, as the angry one spoke up. "I will finish this one _last_ assignment, as promised. And when it is fulfilled," he broke off as he walked away, "-You will live up your end of the bargain."

And with that, he disappeared in the night, leaving the other still frozen in fear.

* * *

**EDIT (13/1/2005): **Okay, I know it's stupid of me to forget writing the last add-on scene in the end. I only remembered about it when I… remembered. Anyway, I did re-type bits and pieces of this fiction. So.. Does is it better? Let me know :D.

Chapter six would have "action", as **Triste1 **would say, and I apologize if this fiction became drag-gy for some of you.

Though chapter six wouldn't come anytime soon, since school is being a pain (as said before).

-

**PS**: **Scented Candles** rock my world. No, not the nice-smelling and colourful candles that sits on racks and resides in candle shops, but the fellow RK **author** whom every reader is attached to, the author who is beta-ing my fiction. Love ya!

Now, please review. I love reading them, more than you'll ever know. :D


	6. 006

**AN: **I know this fiction has been very, _very_ drag-gy, and I apologize for that. I should have went straight to the point, but I wanted to explain the chapters bit by bit, but it turned out very stretched, and it's.. well.

I know I should be reading my history textbook and doing my English homework, but… Um. :D

A very big thank you to **Nekotsuki, Strawberry Promises, Fantasy Angel Victoria, Sagitarious Devil, Scythe195, ****Anonymous Miss, Erica6060, Kawaii96, Silent Tears of Agony, Triste1, Brittanie Love, Kawaii96** (again :D), **Samantha Waters, Ochako107**, and **Pinkcarr**!

Here's chapter six!

* * *

**Chapter 6**

"_K-Kao? Are you crying?" he asked uncertainly._

_Upon hearing his voice, she immediately wiped her tears with the helm of her sleeve. Borne out of pride, her spine stiffened as she sat up straighter, with her back turned to him. _

"_No, of course not," she said curtly, struggling to keep her voice steady but it came out sounding hoarse instead._

"_Are you alright?" he tried again._

"_Yes I'm fine."_

_Not believing her, he walked up to Kaoru and placed his hands on her shoulder, turning her around so that he could look at her face. _

_Her eyes were read and puffy. _

"_You're crying."_

_Kaoru sniffed and turned her face away from him. "What's wrong?" he asked worriedly, his right hand coming up to cradle her cheek._

"_Nothing," she snapped, jerking her face away from his touch. _

_"I told you I'm alright, so leave me alone," she told him icily, ignorant to the fact that her words stung his heart and made him feel pushed aside and unwanted. _

_Kenshin decided that he would not be deterred despite the pain her words invoked in him. He was much too stubborn and he was determined to find out what was bothering her. _

_He asked again, "What's wrong?"_

"_Go Away!" The nine-year-old half shrieked at him as she pushed him irritably. She wanted him out before her tears came back. She hated crying, especially in front of people. She was angry at him because he was here to witness her moment of weakness. _

_Couldn't he tell she didn't want him to see her like this? _

"_What's wrong?" he repeated, voice firm. It was clear he would not leave until he got some answers._

_Kaoru looked away, fighting to keep her face straight. She attempted to push his hands away from her arms but he didn't let go. All she accomplished was making him hold her tighter as he stared at her, a small frown marring his face._

_Violet eyes sparkled and swirled into gold as his eyes narrowed, impatience coloring his tone. He was concerned, couldn't she see that? Why wouldn't she tell him what was wrong with her? Upon the heels of that though came twin emotions of pain and anger. _

_"Tell me Kaoru," he said, wanting to shake some sense into her._

_Kaoru glared at him as much as her swollen red eyes would allow. Still, she said nothing._

_Realizing that she would not open her mouth no matter how much he asked (or rather, demanded), he decided to try the opposite approach._

"_Kaoru," he said gently. "What's wrong?"_

_His voice was calm, soothing and inviting, urging her silently to tell him. He was tempting her with his tone and expression, and she knew it._

_In response she glared at him even harder than before._

"_Nothing," she replied stubbornly._

"_It's obvious something is bothering you," he said patiently, as he let his fingertips wonder her cheeks with his faint touch. He was trying to soothe her with his touch but her skin was so soft, the motion ended up soothing him as well. _

_"Tell me," he pleaded, a sense of worry in his voice. "I don't like seeing you like thi----"_

_Unable to hold them back any longer, her tears came spilling out as she buried her face on his chest._

"_M-Ma… M-M-mama is...." her voice choked out, sentence uncompleted. "M-Mama is.."_

_He held her, stroking her hair as she cried. Her small body was shaking her could feel the wetness of his shirt as the fabric soaked in her tears. He tilted her face up so he could look at her._

_Rivulets of tears were running down her cheek, her face was pale contrasting sharply with the redness of her cheeks, eyes and lips. _

_Kaoru felt weak and vulnerable, but she couldn't hold back the grief and sorrow anymore. Every emotion she felt, the devastation, it was all plainly mirrored in her eyes as she decided to open up to him from the inside out._

_And that scared him._

_It scared him to know that she was so fragile, like a delicate, porcelain doll._

_Like she would crack any second, shattering into millions of pieces._

_He held her close, trying to infuse her with his own strength. He wouldn't allow her to break. He wouldn't allow anything to mar her perfect innocence. _

_It had been in the middle of the night when he decided that he wanted a glass of milk, since his throat was feeling very dry. He was on his way to the kitchen when passed by Kaoru's room and he heard her crying softly. _

"_What happened?" he prompted when it seemed that Kaoru wouldn't say anything more. _

_She continued crying, with hiccups interupting in between. He could tell that her tears were running out as dry sobs wrenched out of her slender frame. He held her, murmuring comforting words, trying to assure her that he was here, that he was always here and he would never leave her. _

_That she could tell him anything, and it was all going to be okay. _

"_M-mama…" Kaoru began as she clutched u__nto him, her anchor. "She's…she's dead."_

* * *

That had been the first time in his life to witness Kaoru breaking down in front of him. He had been going insane with worry the entire night, afraid that she would never stop crying.

He hated her crying.

He hated her tears, he hated everything that made her unhappy.

But she did stop crying eventually. When she had fallen asleep, she had stopped crying, much to his relief.

He sighed.

A week left till the wedding.

He should be happy. He should be the _definition_ of happy. But instead, a part of him dreaded the wedding day as much as a part of him longed for it. For some reason, he felt that it would not be the wonderful wedding that he had always dreamed of having with Kaoru.

He hated this.

He hated this so much.

For the first time ever, he had no idea how to carry out his one last assignment. He wanted so badly to end it all, since after this he would never be bounded again. Going through a pile of frustration, his accomplice took in his silent response and made the decision for him.

He made orders that they were going to attack in two days time at nightfall. Weather Kenshin liked it, or not.

So he decided to tell her everything.

Today.

Now.

Before the night falls in two days.

'_Utterly perfect timing_.' He thought gloomily.

-

"Such a beautiful dress, don't you think so?" Kaoru said dreamily as she held it up against her body and twirling around with a big smile plastered on her face. "I'm so happy right now, even if you drown me in the Red sea I'd still be smiling like some mad, demented cow."

Sayo laughed in reply, "You're going mad! You're already so crazy in love, I wonder what would happen next? Anyway, I heard that you'd float in the Red sea, and you can never drown there."

Kaoru giggled, "I know. Why'd you think I chose that sea?" she grinned. "I'd never want to be apart from Kenshin. Why would I want to drown myself when I'm obviously marrying the person I'm _so crazy in love_ with?" she said as she placed the dress reverently on the bed so she could admire it more. "And I'm wearing that on my wedding day!"

"I'm so happy for you Kao," Sayo said grinning. "Kenshin is going protect you with his life, so I know you'll be in good hands,"

Kaoru smiled.

"…and he'd be damned to hell twice and back just for you."

"Really?" Kaoru asked, raising an eyebrow as another squeal of laughter erupted from her throat. "And how would you know?"

"It's down right _obvious, _Kao. I have eyes to observe as well as a brain to process everything in." Before the princess could reply to that statement, a knock on the door interrupted her.

"Come in."

The door was pushed opened, and Sano appeared holding a white rose. "Hi," he greeted, grinning from ear to ear.

"Sano! What brings you here?" Kaoru asked, as she eyed the flower he was holding.

"Well, I have a date to pick up," he replied, quirking his eyebrows up and down playfully. Kaoru laughed. At the corner of her eye, she saw Sayo coughing, as her face flushed like a big, ripe tomato.

Kaoru let out a gasp.

There was a moment of silence, when none said a word. Then-

"Now, since _when _were you going to tell me you're going out with Sano?"

* * *

Kaoru smiled as stood alone in her room, recalling the earlier events. Shaking her head when her thoughts struck on Sayo and Sano, she let out an unknowing laugh as she looked out the window.

She was glad that Sano and Sayo were going out. Kaoru wanted everyone to be as happy as she was.

Kaoru felt a pair of strong arms circling her waist and the familiar sense of happiness kicked in. She didn't need to turn around to see who it was. Instead, she leaned back against him, smiling as she touched the arms that encircled the span of her small waist. She felt his lips graze her cheek in a small kiss.

"Hello," she said softly, with a smile.

He did not reply as he hid his head in the crook of her neck.

Both of them did not say anything, as they held on to each other.

Then, hesitantly, he spoke up. "Kao… I… I need to tell you something."

"What about?" she asked happily.

Inwardly flinching at her tone, he despised himself even more. He knew he was going to ruin her mood in a matter of moments.

"Something very, very …important." He said gravely, turning her around to face him.

She gazed into his eyes, and she could see that he was greatly troubled. Immediately her smile faded, as she asked worriedly. "What's wrong?"

He was downcast, as he held her hands.

Sighing deeply, he opened his mouth. "I know for a fact that you have always been curious, wanting to know about the past three years…"

She nodded, not knowing where this was leading to.

Silence.

'_God, this is so hard.' _He thought uneasily.

"But if you are not ready to tell me, if you don't want to… its fine," Kaoru interrupted, sensing his turmoil and not wanting to be the cause of his pain. "I trust you."

"No, I'll tell you." He said briskly.

Kenshin closed his eyes at the stab he felt in his heart at her words.

_"I trust you."_

Finally, he decided not to waste anymore precious time. She needed to hear this, no matter how hard it was for him to tell her.

He just prayed that she would understand.

"Three years ago, my father … my father was kidnapped. The captor – Takeda Kanryuu, had intended me to run 'errands' for him, just so that one day I could redeem my father's life. I had no choice, but to follow his orders. I could not rebel against him, for the sake of my father's life.

I could not find any traces of my father's whereabouts, no matter how hard I had searched. Word got out that my father had died instead, with the people not knowing the truth that he was held hostage.

For three years…three years I have been killing people mercilessly, killing them in cold blood…" he recalled painfully, closing his eyes for a brief moment.

She did not know what to say. Saying that she was surprised to hear this, was a total understatement. She was clearly more than shocked.

It was all so sudden as the words started to spill out from his mouth, as if having been kept in for so long, bursting out from him.

"I did not mean to kill those people Kao… I had no choice," he said hoarsely, as he opened his eyes.

It reflected pain and regret.

He looked so remorseful and full of grief, that she felt like holding him tightly like how a mother would hug a child, reassuring him that it's alright.

Rubbing his hands gently, she encouraged him to go on.

"Your father… your father had once banished my father's captor once upon a time. He was caught sneaking in opium and other drugs into the palace, poisoning some of the maids and guards in this palace. Many people had died because of the drug addiction, after they had spent all of their savings purchasing them.

Time passed by, and they could offer no more money to buy more opium, since they had ran out of money. Some of them even killed themselves, because they could not tolerate anymore of the suffering. Because of your father's kindness, he sparred him his life.

Even then, he did receive his punishment. He was whipped, stripped of his treasures and possessions… and he was then banished into another land." Kenshin said unsteadily.

There was a pained look in his eyes and … also something else.

He looked like he dreaded telling her what happened next.

She did recall something like this, when she was very much younger. Maybe when she was two or so, but she did remember the days when the palace's servants started to go missing.

Then suddenly, something struck a chord.

It was as if she got splashed with icy cold water, shaken by a rude awakening.

Like the missing puzzle suddenly found it's place and completed the picture, everything falling together and clicking.

Kaoru couldn't breathe.

She looked up slowly at him.

He looked almost frightened to tell her the next part of his story.

Almost.

But she _deserves_ to know.

Slightly wavering, Kaoru ordered herself to calm down. _'No, it can't be.. It just can't be... not Kenshin, he wouldn't…'_

"W-What… What happened next?" she asked, trying to quell the sick feeling that was rising in her stomach.

Silence.

"Kenshin…" Kaoru prodded.

"Kanryuu was vengeful. He never did forget what you father had done to hi-"

A sharp exclamation of pain slipped past Kaoru's lips as she pulled her hands from his hold and hugged herself. "Tell me you didn't." she cut him off, as she suddenly felt herself trembling.

Blood was roaring through her ears as she stared at Kenshin through a read haze.

'He wouldn't.' 

"Tell me, you didn't," Kaoru said calmly as she stared into his eyes, fighting back the tears that threatened to overflow. This was Kenshin. And Kenshin would never hurt her that way. He wouldn't.

'_He couldn't.'_

But to her utmost dismay, he did not say anything.

He gazed at her face for an agonizingly long time, words refusing to come out from his mouth. Finally, his head dropped as his hair obscured his face from her eyes.

"_Tell me_ you didn't," she demanded this time. She _needed_ him to tell her that he didn't. As long as those words came out from his mouth, she didn't care if it was a lie.

"Kao I-"

"TELL ME YOU DIDN'T!!" she cried out pleadingly, as she clutched his shirt. Her tears threatened to fall, but she would not allow it. Not now. Not yet.

"Kao, listen to me, please…" he begged, as he grabbed hold of her hands again.

She was shaking her head, not believing what was happening.

"I'm… I'm sorry…" he whispered silently, as he crushed her to his chest.

Her whole world stopped then.

They were right. They had tried to warn her, but she had been too stubborn to listen.

Kenshin killed her father.

Letting out a painful scream, she wrenched herself away from his embrace, backing away from him like he was some kind of monster. Her tears ran unchecked down her cheeks. "Tell me that you're lying to me," she rasped. "Tell me you didn't do it, and I'll believe you.."

"I don't want to li-"

"God Kenshin, _tell me_ you're lying! Tell me, NOW!" she yelled at him. "Please tell me! Tell me!" Why wouldn't he say it? Couldn't he tell that her world was falling apart?

"Please say it… say it Kenshin…" she sobbed. She doubled over, falling to her knees as the pain became too much.

He remained quiet as he looked down. Receiving his silence as an answer, she started crying even more.

"H-How could you…" she choked out as she tried to get up, not wanting to appear weak before her father's murderer. That was what he was, her father's murderer. The realization made her feel sick inside. "We were going to get married… Oh G-God..."

"We were going to get married…" she repeated, feeling her whole life suddenly crushing.

Kenshin moved to help her up, he tried to hold her in his arms but she immediately pulled away. "Get away from me!" she cried out. Kenshin wouldn't let her go but she wrenched her hand free and slapped him harshly across the face.

He instantly froze as soon as he felt her palm connect with his cheek. He felt something rising within him, but he forced himself to stay calm. He knew if he gave in to his harsh side, things would end up worse than it already was.

"HOW COULD YOU?!" she screamed at him as she pummeled his chest with her fists. Suddenly, she stopped as if even the mere fact of hitting him, touching him, disgusted her. She moved away, her hands gripping the fabric of her dress. She remained sobbing.

Painful, enduring silence ensued. The only sound to be heard was Kaoru's tearful sobs and then that too ceased and a complete stillness took over.

Turning his head to look at her, he felt a twinge of anguish when he saw her face.

Her eyes were red from crying, as her tears continued to roll down. Her eyes were tight shut, as if she expected to wake up from a horrible nightmare. She looked so torn apart, so poignant, so …heartbroken.

'_Like a delicate, porcelain doll, shattered into a million pieces.'_

"I'm sorry." He repeated dejectedly. "I'm so sorry."

Hoping against hope that she would tell him it was alright, telling him that she would forgive him, her next words stung him more than he could ever imagine.

"Get out." She replied icily.

Slowly taking small steps towards her, he tried to take hold of her arm but she evaded harshly. "Don't touch me." She hissed, looking up.

Her eyes were cold and downright hard.

"Get, out." She commanded, expecting him to comply.

"Kao-"

"GET OUT!! Get out now!!" her voice quavered, threatening to breakdown again.

"I ju-"

"Please. J-Just.. leave. Go away. L-Leave me alone…" she whispered, with her back turned to him. Her shoulders were slumped, and she refused to look at him.

"I can't… I really do love you-"

"Did you _love_ me when you decided to thrust your sword through my father's chest?" she asked softly.

"I… I had no choic-"

Too blinded by anger, she interrupted him again, "If you do love me, you would leave me alone."

Filled with pain beyond imagination, he swallowed as he replied quietly. "I… I understand."

After a few seconds that seemed like eternity, her door closed silently.

Supporting herself with the edge of her wooden table, she tried with all her might to remain calm and rational. But at last, knowing that she was unable to take it in anymore, she started crying again. Pushing away glasses and fragile things from the table to the ground, they smashed into pieces all together in a piercing sound.

Taking out her anger on a Persian vase, she threw it to the door, ending it in shreds of ceramic. Next she took hold of a piece of china, and flung it to the wall. She started sobbing all over again, repeating to herself over and over again that this situation wasn't happening.

That it was all just a bad dream, a bad dream which she couldn't seem to wake up from. Feeling her strength being drained out bit by bit, she crouched by her bed and wept.

* * *

**AN**: Wow. I had a pretty hard time writing this chapter, since I'm not used to writing such….. scenes. Anyway, hugs to **Scented Candles **for being the all wonderful pretty candle that you are, as well as my super-fast (seriously) beta-reader.

Anyway…. I actually finished this chapter on Tuesday, but because I spent 2½ hours typing it, I had no time to re-read it (I'm only supposed to use the computer an hour a day).

But being the nice author that I am (hint), I wanted to update as soon as possible :D. Though there aren't any promises that I would update chapter seven _early_. So… Yeah.

I _might_ update chapter two for my newest fiction, **Flying High**. I shall see how things would work out :).

Now show me some _love_ and **review**! And a happy Chinese New Year to those who celebrate!


	7. 007

**AN**: Hello,I wanted to edit chapter six becauseI left out some minor dialogs, but I decided not to because QuickEdit in is pissing me off. Now they would not allow many things (e.g: two punctuations beput together, some characters would not show up, etc, etc). So...

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**Cherryblossom**: I think you missed out chapter **seven**, because that is the key chapter that starts to match up my summary.

**Drac-frst**: Did you receive my email? I was online when I got your review, so you should have received my email of explanation a few minutes after you reviewed my story :)

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**My darling readers, let me clarify some things for you.** (Based on Drac-Frst's review)

First of all, "..._Kenshin killed hundreds or thousands of people to save his father... along with his father's best friend, Kaoru's dad, knowing how she would react, with no proof that Banyu actually had his father captive?"_

No, Kenshin did not kill thousands of people. A few hundred yes, but thousands of people, no.

I guess in my previous chapters I failed to explain the relationships, so there are a lot of confusion in the minds of the readers. Kenshin loves his father very much, and he loves Kaoru very much as well.

Yes, he would kill people just for the sake of his father's life, and even though I did not write (though I should have) about the proof(s) that Kenshin's father is held hostage. At the first year when his father was kidnapped, somewhere in between Takeda Karnyuu would have proven to Kenshin that his father was in his hands, alive and kicking. And in between the stretch of the long three years, Takeda Karnyuu would ALSO have given bits and pieces of proof to Kenshin that his father is well, and alive for that matter.

And in the process of three years, killing innocent people (including Kaoru's dad) would almost be a.. "monthly routine" for him. Taking people's lives for a span of three years would have made him ruthless; with his conscience kicked aside. That was how he could bring himself to kill Kaoru's father.

Seeing the close relationship between Kenshin and Kaoru, Kenshin had **hoped** Kaoru would understand that he was forced to kill her father. That's why he told her that he did not mean to kill those people, that he had no choice.

I realized that my style of writing involves **a lot of assuming**, a lot of unwritten facts that are shown in other sentences, scenes, dialogs and events.

And yes, I admit that my fiction has a lot of loose ends, but I'm doing my best to work on it. And thank you very much for your review(s), they are all very much appreciated.

If you have any more criticisms/questions, don't hesitate to review/email/let me know. :).

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Anyway, after that is done over with, I would like to thankall my wonderful reviewers, though I'm too lazy to list them all out this time (sheepish).

Here's chapter seven, and any response would be greatly appreciated!

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**Chapter 7**

_Hurt._

_Rejection._

_Pain._

_Regret. _

Those were the emotions that were swirling around in Kenshin's aching chest. He wanted to cry, he wanted to kill, get himself drunk, anything to take his mind away from what he was feeling right now.

Deep in his heart he was aching desperately for her forgiveness. He had been too blinded by an unrealistic hope, a hope that had led him to believe that she would forgive him.

A hope that made him believe that she would see things clearly; to see that he hadn't meant for it to happen.

That he had been forced to do what he did.

But apparently not.

She had pushed him away, screamed at him, resisted him, slapped him… stared at him as if he was some kind of monster, glared at him as if she despised him to the core.

His heart stung again.

_Her eyes_.

Her eyes were filled with immense disbelief, wrapped by her crystal-like tears. She looked so filled with brokenness and anguish, it had torn him apart inside.

Thinking about it, about her, was like adding salt to his already stinging wounds, but he didn't care. In his mind, he knew he deserved it. Whether he intended to or not, he had hurt her beyond imagining.

He had hurt her when the only thing he'd wanted was to make her happy, to protect her and to take care of her.

And yet here he was, her father's murderer.

He felt so frustrated, so angry, so miserable. He wished lighting would strike him to death that instant. But unfortunately, he knew that was not to happen any time soon. Loathing himself even more by the second, he tightened his grip on his katana, running through the katas that had been ingrained into his system.

The familiar motions gave him a semblance of peace, but in his heart, in his mind and in his soul, he knew there would be no peace for him. Not for a very long time… perhaps never again.

Kenshin's movements blurred into the deadly dance of death and fell back into the motions of the art of stealing people's lives in a blink of an eye.

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"_I hate fishing." The ten year old princess complained._

_Her companion, the infamous twelve year-old redhead chuckled. "And why is that?"_

"_Cause' I can't catch any stupid fish. Anyway, it's boring."_

"_No it's not, it's quite fun actually." He replied casually as he pulled up his fishing stick, only to reveal a fiercely-wriggling fish._

_Another fish to add to his bucket. _

_As he set down his fish and unhooked the hook that was hooked to the fish's mouth, he stole a small glance at Kaoru's side. (AN: ..hooks.)_

_Unsurprisingly, he saw her glaring sturdily at him, earning yet another slight chuckle from his throat. Turning his head to look at her, he gave her a toothy grin. The only response he got was a snort, as she mechanically turned her head back to the pond._

"_Maa, maa.."_

"_What?" she tried to sound nonchalant, but instead she all but blurted the word out._

"_You would catch a fish, eventually."_

_She did not say anything, as she dropped her fishing stick to the ground, with the fish line still in the pond. "I'm going to pluck some flowers instead of waiting for the stupid fish to eat the stupid fish food."_

_He nodded amusedly, as she spun her heel and left._

_After a few seconds or so, he made sure she was out of sight. Hurriedly, he grabbed her fishing stick, and firmly took hold of his still-fiercely-wriggling fish from his bucket. He attached the fish's mouth unto her hook skillfully, and threw the end of the fishing stick back to the pond._

_Clearing his throat, he called the irritated-eight-year-old-hard-to-please-princess, who was somewhere around picking flowers, and probably cursing the fishes. "KAORU!"_

_Silence._

_Then –"WHAT?"_

"_I THINK YOU CAUGHT A FISH!"_

_Instantly the princess dashed back to the pond, her right hand still gripping some daisies. Dropping them to the ground, she quickly caught hold of her fishing stick, and pulled._

_Very much to her delight, there was a fish at the end of the line. It was struggling to go free, but unfortunately Kaoru was already thinking about having fish for dinner._

"_I GOT a fish!" she exclaimed excitedly, as she unhooked the fish's mouth from her fishing line, and placed it in her bucket. Looking happily at Kenshin, he sparred her another grin. Glancing into his bucket, she noted that he had only one fish._

"_Eh? I thought you had two fishies?"_

"_Oh, I um.. decided to let one go." He replied, whipping up a smile._

_She grinned in reply, as she grabbed his hand. "Quickly, let's get Cook to cook our fishes and eat them!"_

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She felt an enormous burden suddenly appearing, weighing down on her shoulders, pressing her down until she could hardly gasp for air. She was having some trouble breathing off and on, and she felt like screaming all of her throbbing pain away.

She was leaning on the wall with her body curled up tightly, as if trying to protect herself from everything, either dangerous or harmless. Huddling onto her legs only added some minor comfort to her position.

She had been crying uncontrollably for the past hour, after she had shakily commanded all her servants to leave her room. They had came running in after hearing the broken glasses and porcelains, only to be greeted by a nasty yell to get out.

She didn't know what to do.

At least she was familiar with some of the emotions she was feeling, only this time it was much deeper, more painful, and especially devastating.

Sniffing softly to herself, she rubbed her red nose as more tears started rolling down her cheeks.

She suddenly felt so lost, so lonely, …so betrayed.

"_I'm… I'm sorry…" he whispered silently, as he crushed her to his chest._

She shook her head fervently, forcefully pressing the palm of her hands to the sides of her head, as if to block out any further flashbacks from replaying in her head.

"_Please say it… say it Kenshin…" she sobbed. She doubled over, falling to her knees as the pain became too much._

_He remained quiet as he looked down. Receiving his silence as an answer, she started crying even more._

"No…" she murmured softly to herself.

"_I'm sorry." He repeated dejectedly. "I'm so sorry."_

"No, no, no..." her voice was now more pleading to herself, with a will to shove all of her thoughts to the back of her head.

"_Takeda is planning to attack your kingdom in two days at nightfall. …Be prepared."_

Her head stopped moving, as that particular thought registered in her brain. Her eyes jerked open, as Kenshin's voice echoed in her head once more.

"Takeda… attack... kingdom… two days… nightfall." She whispered unbelievably to herself. Her voice was barely audible, as she slowly closed her eyelids.

_It doesn't matter._

She felt so tired, so exhausted. All she wanted to do was sleep, hope and pray that this was just an awful nightmare, and wake up. Wake up to the arms of Kenshin that she once knew, waking up to the normal life she once thought she had.

_It doesn't matter anymore._

Part of her wished that Kenshin never told her that he was the culprit. If he hadn't said a single word, she would still be smiling, she would still be happy, she would still be head over heels in love with her fiancée. The fact that she was so in love with him, it was more the reason for the vast pain she was experiencing.

She had half the mind to let Takeda Karnyuu to just attack and take over, since she felt so pathetically lifeless and utterly useless at that moment. Every significance, every hope of happiness she had seemed to have been sucked out the moment Kenshin opened his mouth and told her that he murdered her father.

The only living relative Kaoru had left in the whole world.

Her only family.

And Kenshin had taken him away from her.

He was a murderer.

_The_ murderer.

But she did know that he was Battousai all this while, didn't she? She didn't cry or brawl relentlessly when she found out that he went on a killing sprees. So why does she feel so … _broken_ now?

Maybe it was because he killed someone she knew.

Someone she _loved_ all her life.

So far, she had believed that whatever he did, whatever he would become or became, he would never hurt her. He would never deliberately do something that would cause her pain … and yet he had killed her father.

Kaoru's belief in him shattered in that moment.

_Everything has already lost its meaning._

"It doesn't matter anymore…" she murmured silently. "You can come and attack all you want, because it doesn't matter anymore."

And with that said to herself, she rested her head on her knees and cried all over again.

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"K-Kaoru?" Sayo whispered softly. She peered inside the dark room, and her eyes widened at what she saw.

The room was in a complete mess.

Broken glasses and china were shattered on the floor, together with papers, flowers, books and other objects that were once placed on the table.

But no Kaoru.

She was about to leave and look somewhere else, when she heard a weak voice calling out to her hoarsely. "S-Sayo? Is t-t-that you?"

Her head whipped to the direction of the source, but she still could not see the princess. Walking in and closing the door gently behind her, she kept her eyes focused on where she heard Kaoru's voice.

"Kao? Where are you?"

Silence.

"Answer me, please." Urgency was colouring the edges of her voice, as she quickened her pace to where the bed was.

"S-S-Sayo.."

As soon as she reached the sides of Kaoru's bed, the princess was immediately revealed. Her whole figure was blanketed by the room's darkness, but she could still make out her puffy red eyes.

"Oh, Sayo…" Kaoru cried out, stretching her arms like a child begging to be comforted. Instantly Sayo embraced her, sitting herself down to match Kaoru's height. The princess started sobbing, as her servant murmured some soothing words.

A few moments later as Kaoru's sobs subsided, Sayo brushed away a lock of Kaoru's hair that was covering her eyes. She smiled sympathetically as she saw the pain surfacing on her dull blue eyes.

"It's alright, everything is going to okay," she whispered consolingly.

"N-N-N-No, it's not okay. Everything is w-wrong, everything is so absolutely, h-h-horridly wrong." Kaoru said irritably, stuttering from the sobs that were caught in her throat.

"What happened?" Sayo asked curiously. When she came back from her "date" with Sanosuke, the other servants had filled her in on some details on how they heard screams and shouts coming out from Kaoru's room, and how a dark aura had circled around Kenshin when he exited her room. Sayo had hurried over to the princess's room, afraid of what she would find.

After Kaoru had managed to calm herself down, slowly, but surely, she started telling Sayo about what happened from the moment she left, telling her about what Kenshin said, never leaving any details out.

"First of all, you have got to prioritize your father's kingdom." Sayo said firmly, as she starred into Kaoru's dull, unfazed eyes.

"Why should I?" she asked dryly. "I don't give a bull about anything anymore."

"Ka-"

"It just doesn't matter, Sayo. Don't you get it? Everything around me seems to be growing dimmer by the minute. I just cannot seem to just sleep it off today, wake up tomorrow and shrug it off. I know I'm being weak and pathetic, but I cannot be as strong as I want to be." She cut in stiffly.

In response, Sayo's reaction was a complete, stunned silence.

This girl she was speaking to was not her mistress, it was just not Kaoru _at all_.

It was not Kaoru, but some broken doll. Sayo didn't know any other way to bring her back than to draw back her arm, and slap Kaoru in the face.

Her act was treason, and she could be put to death because of it.

But the spark of life that disappeared as fast as it came in her dull blue eyes was worth it. Kaoru slowly looked up, giving her a plain stare, surprising Sayo a little. But her expression eventually softened. "Why..?"

"Have you listened to what you just said? _Nothing_ matters anymore, everything is growing dimmer around you. You're the princess, you're not just a regular person Kaoru. You have a great deal of responsibility to your kingdom, and especially to your people!

If you do not want to move for yourself then move for them. For the families who live their lives in your country and whose sons have gone off to war to defend you, your father, and your ancestors. If you do not want to protect your kingdom then protect the children that live within the walls of our city!

I know it hurts and you are entitled to the pain you feel, but you cannot throw away people's lives for personal reasons."

Kaoru seemed unaffected, her eyes becoming more impassive by the minute. Silently, she whispered. "You.. You don't understand."

Sayo's eyes widened immediately, not expecting her reaction to be so unfazed.

"Kaoru, you-"

"You _don't_ understand." She repeated more harshly this time. "The pain I'm enduring this moment wouldn't even allow me a moment to think about this damn kingdom!"

"Kao,"

"My head is throbbing because it is so clouded by thoughts, my heart is aching because my feelings are reacting to my emotions. Don't you understand what I'm going through right now?" she asked half-angrily, resisting the urge to start sobbing again.

Sayo remained silent, gently gazing into her face.

"Everything inside is just twisting and churning, as if I have just swallowed the most venomous poison.. If I can't even deal with myself, how am I supposed to deal with a whole damn kingdom?" she asked irritably, as tears rolled down unknowingly.

Her blue sapphires were harsh with annoyance.

Sayo looked down, closing her eyes for a brief moment, trying to think and whip up a solution.

How was she going to renew the hope the princess once had?

"Kaoru, I.. I jus-"

"Don't. Please, … just…. don't. I need someone to be there for me now. Don't leave on me," she half-pleaded, as fresh tears surfaced her eyes.

Instantly Sayo embraced her, reassuring her that she wouldn't be going anywhere. Whispering words of comfort, they continued in that position for a few moments.

After a while, Kaoru broke the embrace. She leaned on the sides of her bed, while Sayo sat at her opposite. There was a long moment of silence, as if Kaoru was thinking about something.

Sayo hesitantly opened her mouth to start her sentence, choosing her words carefully. "I.. I understand the situation that you're in now, Kao. But.. think about your father's kingdom. Takeda Karnyuu is after your father's kingdom, because of what your father did, which was showing him kindness and sparring his life.

So don't you think.. don't you think that you should at least try to prevent him from entering the kingdom?"

There was a moment of pause, and Sayo thought that her attempts were infertile again. But much to her surprise, Kaoru's response was calm. Slowly, their eyes met, and what seemed like for the first time in the longest hour, Kaoru twitched her lips and smiled ruefully.

"You're right."

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"The wedding is off." Kaoru said coldly, ignoring her chief advisor's wild reactions and questions entirely.

"B-B-But that is not possible! The arrangements have been ma"

"_I_ am the one that is going to wed, and if I'm not going to wed, that _is_ my problem."

"This wedding wouldn't only involve you, your majesty. It would involve the peo"

"I am _not_ going to wed, and that is _final._"

"But why?" he asked alarmingly.

"I need not explain myself to you. Now get out."

"But your ma-"

"Do _not_ test my patience; and that is a warning. Now, _get out_." She commanded icily. She was clearly in no mood to deal with his protests.

He bowed in respect, and left abruptly.

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"_Sayo, what do you think I should do now? If I were to protect my father's kingdom, I do not know how. I have no plan on how to defend it, more over giving orders." _

_Silence._

"_I do not know either. The only choice we have… is… well, Kenshin. If he leads our soldiers, it would be a sure win situation."_

"_I will not allow him to have any power or authority over anything in the boundaries of this kingdom. When he does, it would be over my dead body." She snapped._

"_But Kao,"_

"_My father lies dead because of him. I have no further intentions to involve him in anything, and you ask me to have him lead my people into defending our territory? I highly doubt it."_

_More silence._

"_Do… do you still love him?"_

_Starring plainly into Sayo's eyes, she answered with hesitation. "I'm going to remove him out of my life completely."_

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**AN:** Credits to **SC** for hitching up the slapping scene :D I actually finished this chapter on the 14th of March 2005, and I've only posted it now because of the delay in sending it for beta-reading, and receiving it back (twice). The result from the beta reading was .. me being happy.

I have re-read this chapter quite a number of times, and I think I'm getting quite sick of it :x. If you do spot some grammatical and structural errors, do let me know in your review. Thanks :)

**Much** love to Uenki, for pushing me to write this chapter. You're my inspirational boost :D (_so not_ a typical-fourteen-year-old-fiction-writer!)

**Review please! x)**


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